Not to get all Joan Rivers on you, but can we talk? Last night’s Golden Globe awards looked like a real train wreck to me. Between the awkwardness of Ricky Gervais’ jokes and the presenters’ responses to them, I wound up clenching my ass cheeks half the night. I know he’s a comedian and all, but where’s the love? Last night was probably the greatest night of many people’s lives, and he had to go raining on parades.
Okay, enough about Ricky. Let’s dish on the dresses.
Nude (or “blush” as we are calling it this year) is still a big trend (despite my fashion advice from last year).
Black reappeared last night after having been absent from the red carpet for a few years. Some say Eva Longoria’s pick was too dull, but I thought she looked Holly Golightly with boobs. I would have used a different lipstick, though.
Olivia Wilde wore a huge bronzy Marchesa ball gown, and I was thrilled for her. She really brought the glam. Go, Girlie. Also, I’m very pleased to see the Marchesa label catch its big break. Being married to Harvey Weinstein can’t be easy for a girl trying to peddle pricey evening wear. Oh, wait.
Angelina Jolie, in green shimmery Armani, looked beautiful as usual. Her beauty almost bores me at this point. The dress looked like something Betty White would wear, but of course Angie could pull off wearing a paper sack.
January Jones wore a flaming red Versace bandage number. Very daring. There was also some fringy stuff going on at the bottom, but nobody really knows what because we couldn’t stop staring at her boobs long enough to take it all in.
Sandra Bullock, bless her heart, wore a really pretty “blush” dress. But Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. What’s up with those bangs covering your eyes? You look like Violet from “The Incredibles.” But at least Violet can literally make herself invisible. We can still see you, hon (whether you can see us or not).
What’s the deal with J. Lo and her conservative white dress with the chiffon-y overlay? If she keeps dressing like this, I may have to retract this entry from last year.
I am a big Natalie Portman fan, and the night belonged to her. I can’t say I disliked her pink Viktor & Rolf gown, but I can’t say I really liked it either. Nat, you’re the new face of Christian Dior. Couldn’t they have whipped up a little something for you?
I know, I know. Easy for the Monday morning stylist to say. Especially since I wore this the last time I was outside that same ballroom. Eek.
