Let me start by saying if you don’t read Jennifer Lancaster, you must must MUST get yourself over to your local bookstore and pick up Bitter is the New Black; Bright Lights, Big Ass; Pretty in Plaid; Such a Pretty Fat; or her latest My Fair Lazy. This woman will make you laugh. I guess I should disclose at this point that we are close, personal friends (meaning I’ve met her once), but don’t let that influence your decision to buy or not buy.
My buddy Jen was in Atlanta for the first stop of her book tour, and I had planned to go all the way up to the actual day of the book signing when I decided not to. I don’t know why I do this, but I look forward to things and then decide it’s too much of a pain in the ass when the time actually comes. Anyway, M gave me a pep talk/shamed me into going, and I’m so glad he did.
There was a lot, I mean A LOT, of standing around waiting in line, during which I made lifelong friends with all the people around me and learned more about popular teen reading than I ever wanted to know. (One book answered such pressing questions as Is it okay to shave DOWN THERE? Am I technically still a virgin? What does “hook-up” mean?) But the standing-in-line experience is a post for a different day. Today I have to tell you what happened afterward.
My BFF Jen signed a book for Subourbon Wife, saying I will be a best-selling author one day and not to give up my dream (as per the instructions I gave her), and then I wobbled my weak legs out of Barnes & Noble, which had been closed for an hour at that point. Stepping into the parking lot (which is shared with a Publix grocery store), I saw 4 of the most precious women ever. I immediately knew we were cut from the same cloth, as they were tailgating the book-signing. And people laughed at me for tailgating the Oscars! Look at this:
In case you can’t tell, they are all wearing their cute pajamas and pearls. The retro TV is a symbol of their shared love of reality shows. One of these girls is from up north, but clearly she has adjusted to Atlanta life. We made fast friends, despite the fact that 3 of them are Kappas and therefore clearly sluts. (Settle down ladies, just joking.)
Since I am always at the end of every line, it wasn’t long before the author came out and shared a couple of beers with us (by “us” I really mean “them”, plus their new hanger-on ME.) Jen is a riot in real life as well as her writing, and I learned that she tailgated with these super-fans last year, too. (They are mentioned in the footnote on p. 202 of My Fair Lazy in case you need proof.)
So you can see why I’m so glad M shoved me out of the house. He mentioned it was somewhat like the olden days, when I would call him from Buckhead and tell him not to wait up for me. Except this time, of course, I was stone-cold sober and had a great time anyway.
Added bonus: the super-fans have agreed to be groupies for my first book tour! YAY, ME! Although there is still that nasty little detail of my not having a book deal, but we’ll think about that tomorrow. After all, as we Southern ladies know so well, tomorrow is another day!
P.S. Many thanks to (L-R) Mary Gail Muse, Stephanie Szalkowski, Marie Cumbest, & Mary Beyer for laughs and use of their guest chair!
