They sell bongs at my corner gas station. Having lived here for 7 years, I should maybe have already known that. A more observant person would have, but I don’t fall into that category. I figure I’m doing pretty well if I coast up to the fuel pump before my car is completely out of gas. (I know my car has a red light flashing in my face, and yeah maybe it has some sort of noise too. But if you ask me, those go off way too early. I think my car says “low fuel” when I’ve still got a good 50 miles worth of gas left in the tank. By the time I really need gas, I’ve already forgotten about it. It’s like the boy who cried wolf, you know?)
So anyway, I had to go inside today to get a Coke and there in a glass cabinet were some bongs. When I inquired about them, the cashier explained to me, “Eet for tobacco.” Well, I may look like a dumbass, but I am very well aware of what a bong looks like. Just because I was walking back out to the Volvo wagon with 2 wheels on the curb, a yoga mat on the backseat and Def Lepard blaring on the (standard) speakers does not mean I was born yesterday. Kids today have it way too easy. I’m not going to rant about how I had to walk uphill in the snow to get to school or anything, but at least we knew how to fashion our own bongs out of tin cans. It seems to kind of take the badass appeal off owning a bong if you can just buy one at Texaco. I personally do not have a need for smoking paraphernalia, but I’m just sayin’.
