Beijing is Jammin’

You think Atlanta has traffic problems? There is a 9-day, 60 mile traffic jam going on in China right now. NINE DAYS. Being stuck in your car. Buying food and water from the locals who are price-gouging. And yet there have been no instances of road rage. Huh. Are they just nicer, more patient people than we are? Because I can assure you I would completely lose my shit before the first day was over.

I have so many questions. Like, where are these people peeing?? Are they having a big block party, or are they all sitting politely in their cars? And are they at least sleeping on their backseats? If not, are there chiropractors on hand? At what point do you just say, “Eff this!” and leave your car sitting on the interstate?

I couldn’t go that long without brushing my teeth or using deodorant. Can you imagine? I think I’d stab my leg or something so I’d have to be airlifted out. Or at least slice a tire and call AAA.

The jam is expected to last until September 17, when the road construction causing the bottleneck will be complete. I certainly hope for their sakes that the same people aren’t stuck for that long. I mean, take an exit already!

But seriously, what do these Chinese people have that makes them so much more tolerant than we are, and can we bottle it and bring it over here?